


It Isn't Fickle

by camichats



Series: Imagine James and Sirius Prompts [207]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Flirting, Getting Back Together, James Potter Lives, M/M, Misunderstandings, Resurrection, Second War with Voldemort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:41:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29809962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camichats/pseuds/camichats
Summary: James is glad that Sirius is happy. The part he has trouble accepting is where he's alive again, and he doesn't get to continue dating Sirius-- because Sirius is in a relationship with someone else.
Relationships: Sirius Black/James Potter
Series: Imagine James and Sirius Prompts [207]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/752925
Comments: 8
Kudos: 81





	It Isn't Fickle

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt: “James returns from the dead and for some reason thinks that Sirius is dating someone. so even when Sirius makes the most OBVIOUS sexual/romantic innuendos, James translates them into friendly jokes, as if oblivious to the flirting. ♥♥♥”

James didn't want for Sirius to be miserable. 

He'd like for that to be established from the beginning. 

He didn't want for Sirius to be miserable; he wanted for Sirius to be happy. After hearing that he'd been in Azkaban, James should be absolutely thrilled at _anything_ that brought him happiness. And he was. Sort of. Okay, so he was barely happy about it, but he knew how much it hurt Sirius for James to be anything less than enthused about the decisions he made. Or at least, it _used_ to hurt him. He wasn't entirely sure where they stood now. If he wasn't Sirius's boyfriend, he didn't know what he was. 

And he wasn't Sirius's boyfriend. Not anymore. 

He'd died, and Sirius had moved on. It made perfect sense. There was no way for Sirius to know that one day, James would come back, and if James had been permanently dead, he one hundred percent would've supported Sirius finding a new partner. Hell, if he could've had one wish to come true before he died, it would've been that he wanted for Sirius to be happy, no matter how it happened. Sirius deserved to be happy, and he'd found that with someone after getting out of Azkaban. James should be happy for him, and there shouldn't be a 'but' tacked on the end. 

But he didn't know what to do with himself. He _didn't_. He didn't know how to live with Sirius and not tell him that he was as gone on him today as he'd been when they moved in together after Hogwarts. He didn't know how to smile at Remus and say 'good morning' when he was dating the man that James loved. He could still remember the elation he'd felt at seeing Sirius again, and the icy chill that had followed when Harry asked why he wasn't at home with Moony. 

Sirius and Remus had both moved into the Potter Manor with James when he was declared alive again-- less than a day after getting back; honestly, he was surprised that it had gotten pushed through as quickly as that. Harry had moved in too, but Sirius and Remus both knew him better. Harry hadn't grown up with them because of Azkaban and the issues with werewolf legislation. 

It was kind of like living with three people that he felt like he _should_ know but didn't. He didn't know how to talk to a Remus that was this tired, not to mention in a relationship with Sirius. He didn't know how to talk to a son that was only a few years younger than him. He did know how to talk to Sirius because even after all this time and everything he'd been through, it was as easy to talk to Sirius as it had ever been. He couldn't get the version of Sirius that he talked to meshed with the version of Sirius that was dating Remus. He knew, logically, that they had to be the same person, but he couldn't get it to align in his mind. 

The big thing that James couldn't get through his thick skull was that Sirius wasn't _his_ anymore. He had trouble talking to him without looking at him and being obviously in love; there was no way Remus saw them talking and didn't know exactly what was going on in James's head-- or his heart, as the case might be. Sirius probably knew it too, but he was kind enough not to mention it. Remus hadn't said anything about it either, but James knew that if he didn't start hiding it better, one of them would have to talk to him about it; he did _not_ want it to come to that. It was bad enough that he was pining after a taken man, and he didn't want to make it worse by forcing a conversation about it. 

All of that being said, it almost felt like Sirius was pushing his limits to see how much James could take before he asked for space. 

"Do you want to sleep with me tonight?" Sirius asked, and it was almost the exact same voice that he used to use in their flat together when he asked if they were going to have sex that night-- Sirius had always liked to know in advance what was happening, no matter what the answer was. 

For a minute, the question and the voice he used to ask it, made James check that Sirius was still older and he hadn't somehow jumped back in in time. But no, Sirius was still a solid ten years older than James now, and he had an innocent expression on his face-- and _actual_ innocent expression, not the one he used when he was trying to _appear_ innocent. This was an offer from the kindness of Sirius's heart because he knew that James hated sleeping alone-- and he _really_ really did hate sleeping alone, even more so since he woke up in this time; the manor had felt unbearably empty to him without his parents, and he'd never gotten past it before him and Lily had gone into hiding. So James pulled together a smile for him because he truly was grateful for the offer. Getting to sleep since living here hadn't been easy. "Thanks. I'd like that." 

It picked up Sirius's mood for him to agree. Being on what amounted to house arrest had been getting to him, and he probably liked feeling helpful. 

* * *

Little misunderstandings like that kept happening. Sirius did something innocent, and James kept misinterpreting because he wanted for Sirius to mean it the way that _he_ would mean it. 

Like that time Sirius had made whipped cream and offered for James to taste it. James had said yes, thinking that no harm could come from it, and then Sirius had scooped some of it on his fingers and held it out instead of getting a spoon. James had blushed but been unwilling to rescind his agreement, so he'd licked it off, trying to be as thoroughly un-sexual about it as he could. 

And Sirius kept kissing his cheek but he wasn't very careful about exactly _where_ the kiss landed, and more often than not, he ended up catching the corner of James's mouth. It was hard for James not to lean into it or turn his head just so to get a real kiss. 

Sirius had finally learned how to be physically intimate with someone he wasn't romantically involved with, and James should be happy for him. And he was! He was happy for him. It was incredible that Sirius had gotten this kind of progress, especially after having been in Azkaban for so long. James would've thought that being in prison would make him feel worse about touching other people, but he was happy to have been proven wrong. 

However, it didn't make any of this easier to deal with; he wasn't sure _anything_ would've made losing Sirius easy to deal with, though, so figuring out the specifics of what about this made him feel bad wasn't overly important to him. 

Which led him to now, when James was laying on the couch, staring at the ceiling as the Quidditch commentators went over the past games of the season on the radio, Sirius came up to him and asked, "Can I join you?" 

"Sure," James said. He should've known that Sirius would lay down with him and not just sit. He also should've guessed that Sirius would curl up half on top of him. He kept his breath even and begged for his body not to respond. It's not like he was horny all the time, but he saw Sirius and he _wanted_. Wanking could only do so much for him, and so something innocent-- like cuddling-- was suddenly a problem for him. 

He focused on the radio and not the warm, familiar body on top of him, and it worked as a distraction. 

Sirius laid there for a long time without saying anything. "If you were anyone else," he said quietly, "I would think you didn't like me anymore." 

"What are you talking about? Of course I still like you." It would be impossible for him to stop. 

"As far as you're concerned, a month ago, we were dating." 

James's heart skipped a beat. "Are you going somewhere with this?" 

"Yes." Sirius pushed himself up on one arm but otherwise didn't move, looking at James. "I keep trying to let you know that nothing's changed between us, and it's like you're willfully ignoring me. Like I said, if you were anyone else, I'd think that you weren't interested, but it's you. It's _us_. Why are you keeping me at arm's length?" 

"You're dating Moony." 

"I'm what now?" 

"I thought you were dating Moony." 

"Why would I be dating Moony?" Sirius asked, bewildered. 

"Well I don't know. He was alive, for one." 

Sirius looked at him for another moment, then cracked a smile. "You thought I was dating someone else, and you tried to be friends." He laughed a little. "You're absolutely... adorable." 

"I feel like that's not what you were going to say." 

"This one's more true. And you will be pleased to know that I am delightfully single. Well," he amended right after, "maybe not. I'd like to think that we're together. Again." 

James lunged towards him and threw his arms around him tightly. "I missed you so much. I kept feeling so guilty for wanting you, and I kept trying to not look but-" 

"It's okay," Sirius said, hugging him back. "You didn't do anything wrong, and even if I had been dating someone else, I'd never say no to you looking at me." He swallowed thickly, and James could hear it from how close they were. “I love you as much today as I did twenty years ago.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is from a prompt driven blog @[imaginejamesandsirius](https://imaginejamesandsirius.tumblr.com) on tumblr. Feel free to drop by!


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